We got the first ever written school report for our daughter this week. It reminded me of (mainly because it was full of) all the diplomatic phrases that teachers use to disguise what they really mean. It also made my husband and I laugh as we went through and translated it. So to help you do the same here is a glossary of some of the common phrases you might encounter – and what they really mean.
Follows their own agenda – won’t do as they are told.
Knows their own mind – won’t do what they’re told; will actively do the opposite.
Is happy to point out errors or inconsistencies – thinks the teacher is an idiot.
Wants to help peers and will ‘mother hen’ them – thinks other children are incapable and teachers are unable to care for them.
Is happy to help organise and lead peer activities – will play with others providing they do as they’re told.
Is keen to participate- won’t let others have a turn.
Has excellent attendance – do you have to send them every day?! Seriously?!
Loves to be outdoors – Stop feeding them sugar.
Can often be found on the trikes/ climbing frame / outdoor equipment – We mean it about the sugar.
Won’t eat the school lunch – your child has sensory issues or a well developed sense of self-preservation.
Is happy to arrive and wants to come in – thinks the place would fall down without them.
Is working on listening skills – see ‘follows on agenda’.
Has a keen sense of exploration – has no sense of danger and finds increasingly novel ways to place themselves in harm’s way.
Shows strong leadership abilities – Finds increasingly novel ways to place others in harms way.
Is developing a strong sense of independence – does not want to be watched placing themselves or others in harm’s way.
Has a keen scientific approach – on discovering an action may place them in harm’s way, instead of ceasing said action they will try it again to make sure it happens every time. They will then invite others to try the action.
Enjoys sensory play – likes making a mess and/or noise.
Can be distressed if unable to clean up immediately – doesn’t like others making a mess and / or noise.
Take ownership of belongings such as bag coat etc – don’t touch their stuff.
It’s like s/he has been here forever – thinks they own the place.
Has excellent gross motor skills – can’t keep still and runs off at the slightest provocation.
Slowly developing patience with turn taking – sees others as NPCs designed to get in their way.
If anyone has any other feel free to add to the comment section
Raising the Modern Fae 