I recently found something that really got my goat. In fact after several days I am still wound up enough that my blood pressure is still in the red, and it is something I feel I will share so it can wind you up as well. Or not – maybe I’m on my own with this.
A child that my fae plays with at her childminder’s is starting to show behaviours that indicate that they should be assessed for neurodivergent spectrum conditions. He is a little over two; non-verbal; unable to follow simple commands like ‘put on your shoes’; can’t identify any body parts; and will not make eye contact. When this was flagged with the parents and health visitor, all were reluctant to pursue any diagnosis or investigation because he might be ‘mislabelled’.
This makes me tear my hair out. I have spoken to numerous adults online, young and old, who have finally been diagnosed – some in their late teens, some in later life – with autism, or ADHD, or something like, and have told their parents only to be told ‘oh yeah, we knew, but wanted you to be normal, so didn’t tell you’. You WANTED your child to struggle!? To think they were stupid? That they were a freak? So you didn’t tell them???
Better yet ‘we didn’t want you to be drugged’. Where have I mentioned drugs? A diagnosis is not a prescription. My daughter is not prescribed anything. She has the support she needs and is lucky enough that she doesn’t have a chemical imbalance that requires chemical intervention. If more children had the proper support and access to that, less would need drugs (don’t get me wrong, for some there is an absolute need for medication but it would be drastically reduced if more support was offered).
So, at the end of the day, I can only assume that some parents feel that there is a stigma to a neuro-spicy diagnosis. The answer, then, is simple: don’t tell anyone who doesn’t need to know. FYI your child does need to know, as do their teachers and any medical professionals / social workers in charge of their care. But friends and family do not.
And so what if they are misdiagnosed? Oh no: your child will get some extra support, the horror. So, please spank your inner moppet or whatever and get over yourself, and make the appointments for assessment.
Finally, an assessment might show that your child has some underlying issue that is solvable e.g. glue-ear or a simple wax build up so they can’t hear. They might be tongue-tied, which is why they don’t talk. These things are physical, solvable and will drastically improve everyone’s quality of life.
There is no excuse not to seek medical help for a child in the UK. It may take time but we still (at time of writing) have an NHS that will treat them for no cost. So do it!
I’ll get off my soapbox now.
Raising the Modern Fae 