Self-awareness

Recently, we have once again been struggling with our daughter’s behaviour. This is a perennial problem that I wish only came around once a year, but is more like once every few weeks. Just when we think we are through the latest batch of rewiring / growth spurts / illness or whatever is causing the screaming demon to possess her (and I truly do sympathize with parents who subjected their fae child to exorcisms) the next one seems to appear.

Recently, our 7 year old has been taking offence to every little thing that we have said to her. Any question or conversation has been met with grunts, huffs and arguments. If I didn’t know better, I would think that she was actually entering the dreaded teenage years. 

I’m not even asking her to do things against her interest, I have long since given up asking her to clean up after herself – something she will happily do at her grandparents house. In fact she will happily wash up and dry dishes that everyone has used at her grandparents house without being asked (bitter? Me? Never!). She will also make sure to say please and thank you and is generally the model of perfect behaviour. Yes, the vein in my forehead is pulsing and my eye is twitching. The moment I ask her something, however, I will get screamed at. The question that most often generates this response is ‘what would you like for dinner?” 

She will scream huff and sulk when asked. So, yesterday, having not had a polite conversation for an entire weekend, I was done. So, having dragged her home, I made her dinner. Nothing unpleasant or unfavourable. In fact food she has eaten every day for years and is fond of. The key difference being, I didn’t ask her what she wanted, simply told her that her options for dinner were ‘take it or leave it’. 

Unsurprisingly, she went into full tantrum threatening to throw it in the bin, claiming she wouldn’t eat it, and screaming at us. When told that she could indeed do that, but she would be going to bed hungry in that case, she stopped after about 20 mins and grudgingly ate the food whilst complaining she didn’t get what she wanted. 

When told that she would be able to choose what she had for dinner as soon as she stopped shouting and started behaving, I admit that my hope was for her to start behaving. It was not for her to fall to the floor and wail “I’m never going to choose again!!!!” whilst in floods of tears. Although I did give her kudos for self-awareness.