The Puppy Is Possibly Neurodivergent

I am beginning to think that we have ended up with an autistic puppy. I mentioned this to another dog owner and was informed that all dogs are autistic. Learn something new every day.

He definitely has ADHD and access to the same endless energy supply that the child so selfishly hoards.

Still, he is fitting in rather well for the most part. He is now approaching six months old and has been given a little more free rein to explore on walks. This means that we have discovered an endless list of things that I never knew were scary but are, in fact, absolutely terrifying.

This week the list of Terrifying Things includes:

• Daisies
  
• Pinecones
  
• A new type of dog treat (this needed to be growled at and thrown around the room for ten minutes before it was cautiously licked and determined to actually be food)
  
• The neighbours (also growled at, but they were on the other side of the fence so there was little to be done about them)
  
• And a dandelion
  

The dandelion was so scary that when it was discovered on a walk with Dad it had to be sniffed, pawed and licked.

Then, on a walk later that day with Mum, she had to be dragged back to the exact location and shown the dandelion again, because you can never be too sure about suspicious yellow flowers.

Unfortunately, there are things he has discovered that should be on the “scary and not to be eaten” list that he seems to believe are perfectly acceptable playthings. These include:

• Bees (which he appears to believe are some sort of spicy raisin when chewed)
  
• Herons
  
• Angry dogs
  
• And lakes
  

The lake appears to fall into the category of:

“The ground has gone weird, wobbly and wet… I should bite it.”

At no point did it occur to him to get out of the lake.

I think it amused the ducks, though.

Still, he has got the hang of holding a toy if he wants to play with the child. This is a rule that is enforced rigorously by all members of the household (with the possible exception of the cat, who appears to believe that if we were stupid enough to bring a loud, bitey, blundering thing into the house and then get it a puppy, we are very much on our own).

Our daughter is very good at “playing dead” (see previous post) if he doesn’t have a toy, so he will generally go and find the nearest legal chew and grab it.

Last night his toys had been tidied away, so he grabbed a Dentastix and hoped for the best.

She keeps trying to teach him games with varying levels of success. He sort of understands tag, at least to the level of:

“We are running in circles and you are chasing me.

Now I’m chasing you…”

He also understands that if he falls over on her foot he will get a belly rub or possibly a cuddle with the friendliness of a boa constrictor — a risk he is entirely prepared to take.

This past weekend, however, she has been trying to teach him to play hide and seek.

On first glance this would appear to have the possibility of success.

Except she is very insistent that he needs to hide first.

We tried to explain that he would be much better suited to the role of seeker and would be highly motivated to find her, but she wasn’t having it. In her world she could count, therefore she was the seeker.

We pointed out that we could count for the puppy, but apparently that was just silly.

Every time she closed her eyes he sat (with toy in mouth) approximately one millimetre from her nose and waited patiently for her to open them again. Nothing was going to make him move because:

a) This was his best friend.

b) We had been training him that when we count we drop that number of treats on the floor.

Now we only count to three, but she made it to ten, so he was feeling extremely optimistic.

So hide and seek was a bit of a failure.

The puppy wanted treats.

The child wanted to find something.

And no one got what they wanted.

Apart from myself and my husband, who were struggling to breathe through the laughter.

The puppy is still convinced that counting should result in food appearing on the floor.

Which honestly suggests the trainer really is three dogs in a trench coat.