Category Archives: Surreal life

We survived half term. I’d love to say we thrived, but honesty compels me to admit we’re merely trending upwards from a week of meltdowns and screaming matches. If I’m told to “go in the bin” one more time, I might actually take the advice and move into the recycler like Oscar from Sesame Street.Continue reading “Trending upwards”

This week is half term. I hate half terms. They’re not long enough to form a new routine and just long enough to destroy the old one. I do recognise that both kids and teachers need the break (I taught long enough to know the thousand-yard stare of week-seven exhaustion). My daughter—who adores school—is usuallyContinue reading “It’s not 9 am”

Sometimes it’s hard not to tear your hair out. Things that should be positive — fun even — can still derail the delicate machinery of routine and tip us straight into emotional overload. This weekend we had a boatload of it. It started Saturday at the gym’s autumn celebration, where they’d decided face painting wasContinue reading “But these are good things…”

I’ve come to realise that raising a fae child is a lot like living with a particularly sassy genie: she will do exactly what you say, and absolutely nothing that you meant. I’m not sure if this is a kid thing, a fae thing, or a kid fae thing, but teaching my daughter verbal cuesContinue reading “Verbal cues”

Does anyone have a translation book, app, or—better yet—a small yellow fish you pop in your ear that will tell you what your fae child actually means? I understand she’s still getting to grips with language. I understand that, because of the way her brain works (ooh look, fireworks!) she sometimes says things she doesn’tContinue reading “Is there a translation service?”

We’re not quite sure what happened last night. My husband and I have chalked it up to a glitch in the Matrix. If my fae child knows, she’s not telling. School has been back for nearly a week—not the longest time, but long enough for routines to start settling and for us to spot theContinue reading “Task successfully failed”

Socks in our house are a bit of an odd item of apparel. I’m the only one who can stand to wear them indoors—and I have to wear them. My husband, I think, believes they’re evil and does his best to destroy them with alarming alacrity. And our daughter… well, she has her own rituals.Continue reading “The rituals of socks”

For most of the time, I forget that our normal is actually insane. That most people don’t need three calendars for one small child and a meal rota published on the dining room wall, colour-coded so she can choose from it. Most children have two options for dinner: take it or leave it. So lastContinue reading “Three calendars and a cake day”