Tag Archives: Humour

My daughter is an escape artist. I was talking this through with a friend the other day and between bouts of hysterical laughter she informed me that she would have ‘nowt but grey ‘airs’ and ‘ave gone barmey’ by now if my daughter had been her child by now (yes, I live in the northContinue reading “The escape artist”

We have spent the last 6 years teaching our daughter to talk. Actually, that’s an exaggeration: we spent 3 years wondering if our fae child would ever speak; 2 with various speech therapists, school teachers etc trying to get her to talk, encouraging her to talk and dealing with her frustration of not being ableContinue reading “Use your words”

I have long held a belief that there is an inverted correlation between academic intelligence and common sense. I haven’t done any study, I just have my own observations to justify it, and every time I mention my theory to people they tend to agree. I may have mentioned in the past that I haveContinue reading “The correlation between intelligence and common sense”

I am of the firm belief that I am raising a cartoon child. If you are unsure if you have a cartoon child there are things you can look out for that will tell you for certain.  If you answer “yes” to all these questions, then you too may have found yourself living in theContinue reading “Stop this Sketch”

And other stupid things I say. I don’t even know why I say them when the answer is obvious and repetitive.  I am aware that having a child is like someone holding up a small frustrating mirror displaying your worse qualities and then telling you that you are not allowed to strangle it but theContinue reading “Do we have to have these arguments?”

As with all children (I imagine), our fae won’t always recognise that she is tired. She will sometimes accept that she is tired – she is always tired;  she won’t sodding sleep, so it’s always a good bet that she has a sleep debt – but you will always know.  She has two moods whenContinue reading “Signs of tiredness”

My fae has shown great tenacity in the face of setbacks this year. Some are big, some were small, some just plain stupid and pretty much all of her own making.  The weather: this summer, I think we can all agree, failed to summer! It has been, at best, pathetic. This has not stopped myContinue reading “Overcoming Adversity”

Trying to figure out what the hell to do with my daughter over the summer holiday has had me tearing my hair out. There are things that I dismissed out of hand as being inappropriate because of the duration (7 hour football training), the noise (ten pin bowling), or her capability (she can’t swim).  ThisContinue reading “Don’t assume anything”

There is a myth amongst neurotypicals: that fae children do not engage in imaginative play. How I wish this was true. My daughter weaponises it. She loves nothing better than to drag you into her world of make believe, only to slam you out of it with a bump. I say “bump” – really, IContinue reading “Imaginative Play”

I don’t believe in reincarnation. Or, at least, I didn’t, but my fae is making me question things. I firmly believe she has had other lives. In one, I think she must have been a collie. She will round up people and herd them together, whether they want to be herded or not. On occasionsContinue reading “I don’t believe in reincarnation but…”