I have recently decided that I am going to write a book, dedicated to the memory of my father. On the suggestion of my husband, I am titling it ‘Maybe the psychos were right?’
This has come about by the sheer lack of consideration shown by the average person in a number of situations, and as time goes on I have found myself increasingly less tolerant of it. The most recent example was on a rare occasion that my husband and I managed to get out for a meal, we found our enjoyment spoiled to the point of moving tables by other guests. To set the scene, and why my patience may have been even thinner than it’s usual: our fae had been at home with a DV bug for a number of days, waking me at 2 am and needing pretty much 24/7 care. We had, that weekend, adopted a pair of kittens (that as of today had to be sent back to a rescue centre as a vet informed us that they were too sick to be adopted in the first place) and both myself and my husband were ill.
To put it in the vernacular, we were not feeling very demure, and you could take your mindfulness and shove it where Sigma don’t shine. So, when a neurospicy adult insisted on playing fucking xmas music on a poorly rendered synth at full volume, it pissed me off. Look, I get that it’s easier to let your kid distract themselves with a hyper fixation but when you allow them to affect everyone in the restaurant, you’re just an ass. We have a child who would love to play on her Ipad during meals, but we have a rule; no tech at the table. She has a close friend who can’t eat without his, they have another friend who can’t stand the sound of chewing and needs to drown it out, and another that needs silence and somehow we can accommodate all of them to eat together. If we had one parent who felt that they had an entitlement to allow this sort of behaviour, then none of us would be able to feed our children. It’s completely unacceptable. If you cannot eat out without the person you are caring for disturbing everyone around you, then you don’t eat out, it’s that simple.
If they need to make noise, then you sit in the children’s areas where noise is not only expected but encouraged. If they can’t cope with that, it is your responsibility to deal, not to make it everyone else’s problem.
Frankly, we look after our own child without inconveniencing anyone, and I expect everyone else to do the same. If you can’t, then you need to accept that you need to make other arrangements. I haven’t been on holiday or had an evening meal out in 6 years. I know that my daughter wouldn’t cope. So yes, I practise what I breach. I have also given up my career, freedom and sanity (to be fair that was on its way out anyhow) for her.
So no, you’re not the only one in the world who needs accommodations, but that doesn’t give you the right to impact those around you. I’m seriously considering ways to incapacitate devices that are at antisocial volumes in future.
Raising the Modern Fae 