There are a set of individuals I feel should really know better than to expect standard behaviours from fae children. I take that back: there are TWO professions in which I expect this, namely education, where you need to understand at least in broad strokes the needs and differences to impart information; and those in the health care industry.
Teachers and medics. So it is with great frustration that I continually run up against both who either don’t have a clue, or are operating on outdated or stereotypical data. It drives me insane. This has been driven home recently as I have been trying to get my daughter some medical help. It’s nothing serious, worst case she has a UTI.
The problem is that to diagnose this she needs to have a urine sample taken. Actually, back up: first she needs to talk to a GP. This is something she has no interest in doing. When I articulate to the GP that she is spectrum and that she is not going to do well with strangers they nod dismissively. Then ask her a question. Then they act surprised when she screams and runs out the room.
No, typical children probably don’t do this, but my daughter is not typical: I just said that. Then they look at me as though I was supposed to stop her. No, I’m not going to traumatise her because you didn’t listen. When I tell them her symptoms they nod, agree UTI and then ask for a urine sample…the child ran out the room when you spoke to her but now you want me to get her to pee in a pot?!
Well, having talked to other SEND parents (top tip – other parents are the best source of info because the professionals have no idea) there are two options – sterile container and decant, or pads. The pads may seem like the best option but have the lifespan of two hours.
So, all in all, it’s not easy. And that’s without the added complication of coercing cooperation out of your child.
I dread the day they tell me they need to do an examination – that may require sedation.
Raising the Modern Fae 